Y’all. This series is really hitting home.
There’s a big difference between knowing about God and knowing God. It’s a tension I struggle with regularly. Having been raised in a Christian home, I understand Jesus’ death and resurrection as fact—indisputable, not-up-for-debate, cold, hard fact. I KNOW that Jesus is the Son of God. I KNOW that he lived as a human being on earth and faced the same struggles we do. And I KNOW he loves us unconditionally, passionately, and tenderly. I KNOW those things.
But I don’t always feel them.
If I’m being honest, I only believe in and lean on those truths when I need them: when I’m having a horrible week at work, when I’m confused about who I am and where I’m supposed to be, when I see my parents struggle with finances, or when I am struggling with finances. I believe in Jesus and his power and strength when I can’t do it on my own. But when things are good, I am cordial. I keep him at arm's length. I pray obligatory prayers of thanks and praise.
Lately, though, hearing from Adam and Mallory has left me changed. They’ve been talking about the voices in their lives that have shaped who they are and what they believe . . . how they see God and how they know him. As a result, the voices that have spoken into their lives are changing my life.
“You can’t be but where you are” and “Jesus invites your intellectual and emotional honesty” have been two of the more poignant and impactful nuggets from this series. Because I’m constantly struggling with knowing about God versus knowing God, it’s comforting to know that I can come to him right where I am, and I don’t have to get cleaned up or pretend to be someone I’m not for him to accept me. And it’s especially comforting to know I can do that exact thing at NP/NIGHTS.